13 May 2010

I'm swear I'm trying

I'm trying to like where I live. I really, really am. Really. But, here's the thing--mentally, I thought we'd be out of here by now. When we moved to New England we planned on Craig working at his new job for 20 months, then we'd move on to an MBA program for him (we were aiming for either MIT or Carnegie Mellon). That would take two years, then we'd be off to a new job. That time frame would have us out of New England in the summer of 2009 at the very latest.

Baby #3 made us re-examine our plans and decide against MBA school--a decision which neither of us regrets since good things have happened in Craig's career and for our family as a result of that decision. We decided to stay put for a little while and bought a house.

When we bought our house the real estate market wasn't at it's height, but it had just started declining. The housing prices were crazy, so we were fortunate to qualify for a state grant toward the down payment on our house. The stipulation: stay in the house for 48 months or pay the grant back when you sell it. I made a time frame adjustment; I would stick it out until January 2011.

Here it is, Spring 2010. I should only have a year left here....but inside I have this horrible, sickening feeling that I have more than a year left. I don't think we're going to be able to sell our house next year without losing money. That stinks.

And I'm not prepared to stay here longer. I'm trying to adjust to the reality of the situation, but I'm having a hard time. I'm just ready to be done here.

I miss the West.

I miss family.

(posts to follow on why those are the two big reasons I want to leave)


c-dub said...

from one transplant to another (although granted, i'm still in the west), all i can say is hang in there. i hope things work out for you in the best possible way.

Jessica said...

We love you here! But I am with you I am looking forward to the day we leave.

Shannon said...

Been there and I completely understand. Does it help at all to remember that the Lord has his hand in all of this? It may not give you an "escape date" but at least there's a little bit of a purpose. And, when it's time to go, there will be a way. When I was young we lived in northern Michigan. Nothing ever sold in the little town where we lived. Right at the time my dad was arranging for a transfer to AZ a paper company brought in a bunch of new families. For a couple of months we had a housing market and my parents were able to sell their house. When it's right, it will work. The hard part is patience and trust. Hang in there!

Queen Scarlett said...

...probably doesn't help... but I miss you...

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